Last week check in:
- All morning routines consistent. Often meditating 15 or 18 minutes if I have the extra time in the morning.
- Breakfast a definite.
- 9 pm no phone. I didn't always make it exactly at 9 pm, but as soon as I realized it was after 9, phone goes on the charger. This keeps it out of my face so I'm not tempted to compulsively check it. I can't believe how unconscious it has gotten for me.. I'm always checking it, it's compulsive and I want to change - it needs to be a tool for business, not a time waster when I'm at home.
One night, the topic came up: What did we used to do at night before smart phones and Facebook? Well, we used to drink and were a lot more social, going to bars and hanging out with friends. We noticed that since we quit drinking in 2013, we've become home bodies and gotten more absorbed in our phones and less connected with each other when we're in the same room together. It's been nice to snap to reality and realize there are better ways we could be spending our time.
I noticed in the last week I was getting to bed much closer to midnight because we were staying up talking and lost track of time. This created a new focus for this week!
New focus this week:
- Set alarm at night for 11:15 so this will prompt me to go to bed. (Already seeing I need to readjust this because my phone is on charger beside bed and I haven't been hearing the alarm. Asking Ben to support me and set an alarm on his phone for 11:15 - his phone is usually beside him. I've got to get this habit of an earlier bedtime because when Falacos hits, I'll be needing to get up super early and I need to get enough sleep.)
- Start focusing on rolling back my wind down time to 8 pm. If I'm still going strong at 8 pm, observe, how long have I been working today? I've likely done plenty and I should be in rest mode, winding down and ready for sleep. Starting to put phone on charger at 8 pm.
SHE IS SO RIGHT!! And that's the kicker - I have to give myself permission.
I'm addicted to doing stuff, feeling productive, there's so much to do in a day, surely if there is energy in me and stuff to be done, I can cram in one more thing... and that's not been working for me. It's time I took control of my self care schedule and start seeing my time at home as sacred, something to be cherished because it's important for my serenity.
This weekend, I focused on gardening. The weather was amazingly beautiful and Benny and I committed to working in the garden together. We didn't have a garden at all last year and the backyard was overgrown with weeds. Both days this weekend, we worked together, enjoyed some tunes and tackled a good chunk of our yard. It felt so good to be off the phone and have my hands in the dirt. When we camped recently, I realized how much I missed the dirt... just feeling the earth on my skin... it does something magical to my spirit. It's peaceful and grounding and oh so relaxing for me.
Watched a documentary last night, Dirt! The Movie and I suddenly had a renewed respect for the ground that brings us life and the food we eat... I am so excited to be back in a garden again this year and I expect this will be part of my meditation each day - piddling in the garden each morning, pulling weeds and tending to our little spot on this pale blue dot.