Week #1 - No judgment and a bedtime.

I realized after I posted my first blog, I forgot to mention my assignment for last week! Whoops! Here we go... :)

Each week when I check in with Anjali, we will have a new thing for me to start implementing into my schedule. On our first consult, we determined the areas of my life I want to change or create:

• Meditate
• Yoga/exercise
• Read
• Enough sleep
• Meal planning
• Stress management

During our consult, Anjali picked up on things I was saying and she called me out... (in the most loving and supportive way, too).. I described things I'm currently doing like, "when I smoke, I know it's so stupid" or "I'm terrible with planning meals" or "I am like a bratty kid that never wants to go to bed early" and she pointed out that I am judging myself HARD with those statements. Why does it have to be stupid or terrible or like a bratty kid?  It just IS. Those behaviors I'm doing?  They are what they are, and I tie a lot of emotion and judgment to those behaviors.  Anjali pointed out that if I am judging the behaviors I want to change, it's a lot harder to change them.  First step is to accept them. No judgment.

So, my first week's assignment was: PRACTICE NO JUDGMENT.  And boy howdy, has this been an enlightening exercise! I do it ALL. THE. TIME.  I adopted an affirmation awhile back - "I AM ENOUGH" - but all those little judgments about my behaviors don't say "I am enough".  Quite the opposite, actually.  I have been practicing awareness on my thoughts and when I catch myself thinking "oh, you dumbass" or "I'm terrible at this", I instead think "How else can I say this without the judgment?" and then rephrase the thought to say "I haven't been successful at this yet."  Sure, I can see where I'm not doing things yet and I can acknowledge that they aren't done and omit the feelings and emotions about them being undone. It is what it is. Just OBSERVE. I AM enough.

This has been a big challenge for me and I will continue to practice this awareness every day. 

Anjali also asked that I observe my schedule - what does a regular day look like in the life of Courtney?  When do I get up? When do I eat? When do I get home at night? When do I go to sleep?

We had our first official check in this past Thursday on the phone, rather than in person. Anjali knows how my schedule is and she is so accommodating; we agreed that our check ins could be done on the phone if that supported my schedule better. 

I have been keeping a daily log of my wake up times and if I am drinking my glass of warm water as soon as I wake up.  We reviewed this and I found I am often waking up past 6 am and then feeling rushed to get out the door by 7. The solution looks like waking up earlier, but that means I would need to get to bed sooner to not lose sleep. Right now, I run pretty well on about 6 hours of sleep.

I also observed that I usually spend time playing on my phone right before bed, which doesn't support me in getting to sleep sooner. The focus of this next week is to not have my phone by my bed anymore so as not to distract me. But Anjali, my phone is my alarm clock! We worked through this too - I agreed to not use my phone anymore but use an iPad instead so I can still have a gentle song to wake up to and not a blaring alarm clock. I took this a step further and (thanks Diane!) downloaded a sleep tracking app for my iPad.  I hit 'start' as soon as I go to sleep and hit 'stop' as soon as I wake up and it logs my bed and wake times for me so I have a record.  It also has a gentle sound of nature and birds to wake me up, which I LOVE. 

Week #2 Objective: 

• Wake up at 6 am and have a glass of warm water. So far, so good on this except for weekends... I love sleeping in and do not wake up at 6 am, but I do have my water before coffee! Keep track of this on chart - also record when I hit snooze and when I REALLY get up.
• NO JUDGMENT. Practice catching myself when I use words to describe what I do/don't do - am I judging or observing? Also observe my schedule of wake, work, eat, rest, sleep.
• Be in bed by 11:30. I was in bed on Thursday night after our call, but on Friday and Saturday nights, I noticed I like to stay up late and watch something on TV. Tomorrow is a work day so in bed by 11:30 tonight for sure.

The other challenge for me is to put down the judgment when I don't get up at 6 or in bed by 11:30.  This isn't a contest or a test or something I'll win or lose at - this is an exercise to observe and make efforts to hit these times.  If I don't successfully hit bed at 11:30 or wake at 6, I can take note of what happened that had me miss those times and then observe my results.  How late did I stay up? Did I hit snooze? Am I rushed in the morning?  Did I get to do my morning routine? (water, meditate, yoga, answer one 12 step question in my book, breakfast - all before showering/ready for work)...and just notice. No judgment. 

Some Falacos food truck news... THIS BABY IS GREEN!!!! Popped in last week for a quicky look - she is soooooo super fly! Will be meeting with Zack this coming week to finalize our plans for the exterior design, signage, #'s, all that jazz.... SO EXCITING!!!!